TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon has nine panels.
PANEL 1
A grinning man stands in his living room.
MAN: That TV Star billionaire son of a billionaire is an underdog like me!
PANEL 2
A woman standing behind a fence gestures at her phone.
WOMAN: Trump kills random Venezuelans on boats with no trial or evidence... But Democrats seem smug, which is much worse.
PANEL 3
A man in a suit is overcome with fury and shouting.
MAN: Because filthy pet-eating invaders are poisoning America with their dirty blood! (But I've got nothing against immigrants).
PANEL 4
A man in a compound surrounded by barbed wire hugs a gigantic gun and yells.
MAN: Because Democrats wanna take our guns!
PANEL 5
This central panel contains the title, "Reasons To Support Trump." Below that, a nice looking smiling woman talks, and in the background a Klansman adds something.
WOMAN: Not because I'm a closet white supremacist! Heck no!
KLANSMAN: Same!
PANEL 6
A housewife in an apron, surrounded by children, happily talks.
HOUSEWIFE: I like that the President has traditional family values! Like Donald with Ivana Marla Melania.
PANEL 7
A man looks up from reading a newspaper.
MAN: Because Trump is fighting "cancel culture" by getting people we don't like fired or deported!
PANEL 8
A man in a suit gestures towards a teacher in the background, who looks indignant.
MAN: Because woke "teachers" indoctrinate our kids into being trans!
TEACHER (thought): Yeah, right. I can't even get them to use deodorant.
PANEL 9
An woman in her living room talks to us angrily.
WOMAN: Liberals are evil terrorist loving pathetic loser cucks who hate freedom! And they say such mean things about Trump!
CHICKEN FAT WATCH
"Chicken Fat" is long-dormant cartoonist speak for irrelevant details we stick in because it amuses us.
Panel 1: Igor, Marty Feldman's Young Frankenstein character, is peering in the window. (He's drawn in black and white, like the film). There's a framed picture of Montgomery Burns on the wall. The man's sports shirt says "42," a reference to the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy novels.
Panel 2: A flyer taped to the tree says "WANTED: A poem as lovely as this tree. Contact Joyce." A groundhog wearing a top hat and a scarf has popped out from the ground.
Panel 4: A poster taped to the wall shows an adorable mom holding a gun; the caption says "My other mom is the NRA." One of the gun crates has a sign on it saying "Caution: Bang! Bang!"
Panel 6: A surprised looking infant hangs from one of the hooks on the wall. One of the children is smoking a cigarette. One is Little Orphan Annie, as she looked early in that comic strip. One has a t-shirt with a superhero named "I.P. Man."
Panel 7: The newspaper, entitled "The Right News," has a giant headline saying "Is Zohran Secretly Hamas?" A smaller subhead says "We imply yes!"
Panel 8: On the blackboard, below a complex looking algebra equation, it says "You're right. You'll never use this math in real life. Ha ha suckers!" Elsewhere, it says "E=M.C. Hammer" and, in a list format, "1. Fee 2. Fie 3. Foe 4. Fum".
Panel 9: The cat is a pirate, with a big loop earring in one ear, an eyepatch, and a wooden leg. The vase has Charlie Brown's shirt's stripe on it.
